REC:
“The Way I Wander….
Lost in some field of my own insecurities, not seeing the world for what it is and instead taking it for what it should be. Aimlessly searching for the answers to the questions no one wants to be asked. Emotions tend to leave me in a flux, a potpourri of confusion, at times not even I know who the person is who stares her back in the mirror. This journey was never easy, it started 7 years ago as an angry girl that wanted something out of life that seemed to be taken away in the early stages, never trying to repair those cracks, instead cover them up in a sport that for the most part, I have dominated in….
It was an easy fix, that is where my path led me. It was cyclical, every night, didn’t matter who I faced, the formula was there for success and I took every advantage of it I could. There are lessons which will always be taught, some learned, some not so much. I traveled this road long as I could, even found love and a family along the way. I tried to never look back at it, instead push through, waiting for what the next day will bring, living vicariously through my accomplishments, not really seeing the substance to the acts that I was involved in. It was mindless work, come in, kick ass, leave….
This was The Hellcat.
Yet there comes in a moment in my life where I must stop and wonder what I am doing wrong? Why did I end up like this, how did this happen?
January 20, 2019 was that day.
Things didn’t seem to be easy anymore, I didn’t know what to do after failing, was my journey over? Did I wander too far? Did I finally reach the one person in my life that could stop me after so many years of getting the results I was looking for? Where did this all fall too? I couldn’t explain it and no self-enlightened experience or walk through the woods was going to change what I had experienced. There was no time off, instead I needed to process and accept….
No, I could never accept.
When I began doubting myself, always thinking that I took the wrong approach in this. See, this is about more than losing, embarrassment, humiliation, even domination. Taking me apart bone by bone, symbolistic in the match fought, the message sent, one that I had to look and live for many months the fact still remains the most powerful emotion that never wandered, never waved, never was lost in translation….
Is Hatred.
It is not some simple, unadulterated version, “I hate you” is too pedestrian and high school. These are my feelings toward me….
Because she made me hate myself.
The Way I Wander….
This path I made to find the truth within me, to understand what I must do now to win is not ending….
In fact, it begins at Rise To Greatness XVI.”
/REC
THE WAY I WANDER
THE ENLIGHTENED PATH
We all need time for ourselves. There are many reasons behind it, for me personally I just need to focus on what is important right now and understand myself better. I have lost my confidence, even being a bit lethargic lately, questioning every move I make and every step I take…. No, I’m not singing the Police. My husband is the reason I breath these days, all that he has given me is purpose to continue fighting a battle that most of the time, I don’t even know if I would even bother. When I became a wrestler, I had no clue that my priorities would change, not in a million years was I ever in the market for a husband, did I ever think I was going to fall in love. Family changes a person, those kids I have may tamed me some, but I would take a bullet for each of them which make this hard, nerve wracking and most of all scary.
Yeah, I admit it, I’m scared of losing to Datura again.
How does someone recover from that? All this time I waited just to lay and egg? See, she doesn’t fully grasp it all. She can’t see past her own games, to fully understand and comprehend the hell I have been through and how I handled it all piece by piece, sitting around, waiting, repairing what I could. Making Things Right did open my eyes, I could look at all the negative that came out of that night….
But it never outweighed the positive.
This is what I need to hang on to more than anything. Work keeps me busy; distractions always are a good thing though lately there have been too many of them unwelcomed. The death of Ricky Octavius stung, what has been going on in the Beauty Factory has now caught my eye, are the incidents of his death and Rebecca Williams, related? It’s there more than meets the eye here right under our nose. It’s no secret that I will do whatever I can to protect those I love, I have never deterred from this even if sacrifices need to be made…..
Any and all, no matter the cost.
Laurel Canyon
This Past Week
This was unexpected and yet spontaneous. With Rise to Greatness this weekend, there was nothing more I wanted than to be in the right frame of mind. It wasn’t about hitting a sweaty gym or training until my hands and feet turned raw and red. It was about being with the most important people I love. I always take Jason to Santa Monica Pier, it has been our ritual for who knows how long. Funnel Cake, Hot Dogs, Slushees, it’s our home away from home. This time, it was about more than sharing memories and sweets, I wanted some time alone with a boy that I can call my son even if I never bared him. It was the perfect day for a picnic out in the canyon, the lake was water warm, the cool mountain breeze made for a nice and peaceful setting. Jay and I were at the edge of the lake, digging my toes into the sand as he cast out his fishing poll, David bought him one for Christmas, finally he has a chance to use it. I didn’t know two shits about fishing, I YouTubed what I needed to, learned how to put that nasty nightcrawler on the hook, glad I waited to get a mani/pedi until later in the week…..
Regan: “I think I did it right, kiddo. I had to watch it a bunch of times because your stepmother is a dumb a….. well you know.”
Jay: “I was going to say, that was going right into the pot.”
Regan: “Ha, yeah, trust me buddy, you are already set for college after my potty mouth. I think you were able to get it out there pretty good, huh?”
Jay: “I don’t know, it went pretty far, are there a lot of fish in the lake?”
Regan: “Tons.”
Jay: “Really?”
Regan: “Oh, really. There are more fish in the lake then there are people living in Los Angeles.”
Jay: “No way!”
That was a bullshit lie but it was innocent, damn I hope there are fish in this lake or I’m going to look really stupid in the next few hours. He held on to the pole, pulling a little while I stood behind, encouraging him…
Jay: “So why did we come fishing?”
Regan: “Huh? Well, because your dad bought you a brand-new pole and we have NOT used it yet. Besides, I have never really done much fishing and we hardly get to hang out outside of the Pier though I did bring us Hot Dogs and Funnel Cake, I mean, come on, I know what my little big man, likes.”
Jay: “Did you really!?”
Regan: “I did. I want to spend some time with you kiddo, that’s all. If you don’t want to fish and rather go back home, we can.”
Jay: “No… no, I like it. I just know that dad, AJ and Jenni are worried about you, this you have coming up, that lady who hurt you.”
He was old enough to comprehend, maybe not fully understand and as a parent I wanted him to know the truth. He was there when I was a wreck, sitting on the couch wondering what the Hell I was going to do after Datura left me a mess, tearing me limb from limb. No one ever forgets that and I for one didn’t want him to see me that way, unfortunately, things work out a certain way that is beyond even my control. He’s seen me stand tall and crawl on the ground, yet this whole time he has never looked at me different….
Regan: “Jay, that lady who hurt me is back, she wants to hurt me again but this time I’m not going to let her. I didn’t take her serious last time out, buddy. She threatened you guys and I felt that I could stop her. I would never let anyone hurt you, but she showed me that sometimes we don’t win them all.”
Jay: “My teacher asked me who was my hero right before we broke for summer. Some kids said Superman, Batman, The Flash, a Police Officer, Doctor, I said my mom.”
Regan: “She’s a tough bird, Kat is special woman.”
Jay: “I meant you silly.”
That totally caught me off guard. My hand placed on my chest, my heart fluttered some that after all this time, I was his hero. I swung around him and placed my hands on his shoulders, smiling and completely taken back by the gesture….
Regan: “Really? Why?”
Jay: “You never quit. You make a stand and I remember when we had problems in the past, sure I’m a little older and understand those now, you wanted to be the best mom for us. You never changed that, dad loves you, Jenni and AJ love you, I love you too and I know that you love us. I know why we are fishing.”
Regan: “Why?”
Jay: “This is the reason why you stand up and always fight. Jenni has explained to me more. Dad has too, even AJ. I never really knew what was going on until you were on TV wrestling. You do it for us.”
Regan: “That’s right kiddo and since we are being honest here and open, I wasn’t always the right role model for us. I was embarrassed for you or AJ and at parts Jennifer too, watching me on TV and the things I said or did. They never wavered; it was always about the Helms Family. I had to change though and that evil woman who beat me up, helped me see better what was most important. See Jay, when you get older, the things that are important to you will change. Jenni, AJ, David and you what is most important to me and if I have to face that lady twenty more times and I lose to her twenty more times, it will all be worth it, because of you.”
Jay: “Don’t fight her.”
That again caught me off-guard, tilting my head, I was a bit surprised he said that. I took a deep breath and tried to smile….
Regan: “Why not?”
Jay: “I saw you hurt. I don’t want to see that again.”
Regan: “Jay, she’s not going to hurt me again. I give you my promise, my word right now that what we remember back in January is a distant memory and moving forward, we will stand positive. Kiddo, I know you are scared….”
He nodded, poor thing, I wanted to hug him and never let go….
Regan: “I’m frightened to lose again. I have too much on the line and the last seven months have been preparing for this. Kiddo, I know you are scared, it’s times like these that I need, for me to know exactly what is on the line here. That woman attacked my family, I failed to protect them. This goes beyond that now.”
Jay: “I don’t want to see it again… mom.”
He reaches over and grabs my left hand, the one that Datura broke my pinky and ring finger and pretty much took me off my game. She systematically ripped me apart and I let her. Not this time. Holding my hand, I could remember as it was yesterday the shit I dealt with after Making Things Right. It was the beginning of a journey I would dedicate myself too and see its fruits from labor play out at RTG XVI. Looking at my hand…..
Jay: “Wait! I think I caught something!”
Regan: “Yeah!? Reel it in!”
…. It was a good distraction even if the memories were hard pressed……
Helms Home
Laurel Canyon, CA.
7 Months Ago
It’s not easy to forget what happened and the chain of events leading after Making Things Right. I tried so hard to keep it together at first. Losing not only to Datura but in your hometown always stung, sleeping in my bed that night came me no comfort, I tried to stay away from my family, avoid them even, anything to make the pain go away or at least deflect it. The thoughts I remember, the three count, I was half conscious, didn’t have the power to kick out, she knocked me cold and all I could remember was the pain in my left hand, the broken fingers she took, symbolic of everything that she intended, I couldn’t wear my ring….
That bitch.
Jason was sitting at the bar along with Jennifer, they were both teasing each other as usual. I was quiet, trying to prepare some lunch, my hand was bandaged up, I didn’t want to say anymore about this. Jay had come and talked to me, so did Jennifer, they went through the motions, they tried to make me feel better, didn’t always work. Grabbing the bowl to make Chicken Salad, I took the handle of the whisk to mix the mayonnaise and ingredients….
Jennifer: “No…. no… that was so cheating!”
Jay: “No it wasn’t! I called UNO!”
Jennifer: “How can you call UNO if you still have two cards left? You have to call UNO when you only have ONE card left, right mom!?”
Regan: “Yeah…. Yeah….”
I was concentrating on how the hell I was going to grip this bowl and hold it while trying to whisk in this Chicken Salad. With a broken hand, things started to seem a lot more difficult, l could still wipe my ass thank God but Datura knew what she wanted, not being able to wear my wedding ring was symbolic, she sent her message and now I have to deal with it. I try to get a grip of the bowl….
Jennifer: “Do you need help?”
Regan: “I got it.”
Jennifer: “Are you sure?”
Suddenly the bowl spins right out of my hands as I was trying to whisk, the chicken salad flew everywhere on the floor, on me, on everything. I slammed the whisk on the floor and scream….
Regan: “God damn it!”
I was so fucking frustrated, I scared Jennifer and Jay, I didn’t mean to, but this was getting out of hand. Holding my hand, I turned away, trying to not show any more outbursts. I quickly grabbed a towel with my right hand to clean up, could see Jennifer coming behind me to help….
Regan: “I got it!”
Jennifer: “Mom….”
Regan: “I got it, okay!? Just go with your brother to the living room and play UNO, le me clean this up!”
Jennifer: “Mom… Jay and I can help and….”
Regan: “NO! I will take care of it! Please, let me do this!”
I was pushing my family away. I was so embarrassed and humiliated from Making Things Right, the only person I was torturing was myself and then amplifying it to the people I loved, the family I was defending, the ones I fought for because I didn’t know how to handle this. My hand was shaking, bandaged up, I pressed it close to my sternum, went on my knees and starts cleaning the kitchen. I could sense Jennifer and Jay watching me…..
Regan: “Why are you still here!?”
Jennifer squatted down and placed her hand gently on my injured one. She then reached over and tried to take the towel I had in my other, I pulled it away, but she tugged it and handed it over to Jay. My eyes started to swell in tears, I couldn’t hold it in anymore, finally falling to the cold floor in defeat, leaning against the cabinets, covering my face with the good hand while Jay and Jennifer picked up my mess. It was like Regan Street became an invalid, this cunt took away my dignity, my presence, the woman that stood in front of these young kids and was a rock and now look at me. After a few moments of crying, I felt Jay lie his head on my lap, Jennifer next to me holding my broken hand….
Jennifer: “You are not alone. We are here for you.”
Regan: “It’s not….. it’s not that.”
Jennifer: “Then what is it?”
Regan: “That woman….. she took away…..”
Jennifer: “What? Your two fingers? They will heal. Pride? We all know you bounce back better than anyone. Your family? No mom, we are here and not going anywhere. What she has taken away is what you have allowed her too. In hindsight mom, you lost a match, that was it. I know it was personal and everything that was at stake. You showed me this. You taught me that no matter what stay strong and follow your instinct. We lost the Chicken Salad, fine. I’ll shoot over to Ralph’s and buy some of the Amish stuff that is really good.”
Regan: “No…. I will make more.”
Jennifer: “No, you won’t. This time Jay and I are going to take care of you. I want you to kick off the shoes, rest your feet on the coffee table and watch TV, Jay and I will make lunch, right lil’ bro?”
Jay: “Yeah, we’ll make lunch!”
Regan: “No…. please….”
Jennifer: “Come on…”
They both help me from the floor, I walked over to the couch and sat down, I was mentally and physically exhausted, only a few days removed and was in so much pain. I leaned back, Jay grabbed my legs and placed them on the table, they walked back to the kitchen and started to prepare lunch. I wasn’t happy about this, my kids seeing me a wreck and to think she did everything she said and more. Datura was right, all I thought about was her, all I felt was a hatred that was building inside and when I see her again, I would unleash it and remind her this is far from over. I could hear them in the kitchen, throwing down on some dishes but the noises became fainter and fainter….
My eyes became heavy, maybe all the emotion was finally starting to tie me out. I didn’t sleep for days, looking down at my left hand, bandaged, the ring missing, starting to get blurry. My hand fell to the side as my eyes closed, I could even hear myself snoring some before Jennifer and Jay both walked back in. Instead of giving me lunch, they put a blanket on me though my feet were still dangling out on the table….
It was sweet nonetheless and a reminder that Jennifer was right, I allowed this woman to take it from me and I gave her the means by being the victim. If it wasn’t for the love of my family….
She would have destroyed me.
Laurel Canyon
This Past Week
Looking at my hand, stretching out my fingers, it was like yesterday when this happened. I couldn’t keep thinking about those moments, it was watching Jay catch his first fish which I needed my full undivided attention on. Sad to admit, Datura was right, All I did was think about that bitch, I couldn’t get her out of my head, it’s exactly what she wanted though I don’t think it was to the extent it is now, almost an obsession that teeters back and forth. Jay was so determined to reel it in, standing behind him for added balance, last thing I needed was for my kid to fly into the lake after some big fish. He grunted, looking so cute trying to be the big man. He pulls with all his might…..
Regan: “Come on kiddo!”
He looked determined, like a real Helms. It’s a shame that we have so many enemies, personally I don’t care about who likes or dislikes me, I never made a big deal about that but David? My son? They are two of the most loving and giving people on the planet. Another reason I felt the need to protect them. Watching Jay now, gave me that strength, the need to keep fighting on. He pulled again, with all his strength, he was going to catch this fish and make good on it. I was so proud of the munchkin, remembering when he was a just a baby…. Damn time flies.
Regan: “Come on! You have this!”
Jay: “It’s a big one, mom! I know it, he is pulling really hard!”
Regan: “Don’t let it go, son! This is your first fish and you’re going to show this off to your dad!”
Jay: “I know! I’m going to catch it!”
He kept reeling it in, I was helping him by keeping his balance when he finally pulled it out of the water and grabbed it, it was a pretty big fish, looked to be about 5-6 pounds, for a kid his size and weight, it was Moby Dick he just caught! So excited, Jay jumped up and down, I did to all because of a fish but it was one of those moments we wouldn’t forget. I grabbed the fish; I had no idea what it was, so I took a pic and started to look it up….
Jay: “It’s a bass! I can tell by the wide mouth!”
Regan: “Then there are a lot of bass’s in SCW, that’s a big ol’ mouth there. Looks like a Corvina Bass, it says they are good eating too!”
Jay: “I don’t know if I want to eat him.”
Regan: “Why? He was your first catch and he’s something you earned. You’re a true fisherman now.”
Jay: “Yeah?”
Regan: “Oh yes!”
Jay: “So are you going to clean him?”
Regan: “Oh Kiddo, yeah throw him back, he deserves to live.”
Jay: “Stop it!”
I started to laugh a little, trying to get away from cleaning something I have no idea how to do was not very well received. Instead we laid the fish on some paper, there was a cooler with ice to store what we could find. After I took out the bass, I put on another night crawler and he casts out into the lake. Thinking about my hand, looking down at it and how it healed is a constant reminder of what I failed to do. With my ring set on it now, I swore to myself that I would never take it off…..
Ever.
Regan: “Are you ready to catch another?”
Jay: “Yeah, we need to catch like six more!”
Regan: “Six more!? For who?”
Jay: “Well, Dad, you, me, Jenni, AJ, Scarlet, Uncle Jason, oh wait Christian and…. Ms. Rachel? Auntie Mikaela? I have to catch like eight more!”
Regan: “Well that is a lot of mouths to feed, we better get to catching more fish huh?”
Jay: “Yeah!”
We stood there for a moment, it was all quiet, nice and peaceful. Just the two of us. There was a reason why I came out with Jay to do this. I wanted to remember the good times and know that the bad only exist to make these so much more worth it. He was concentrating on the lake, slowly reeling the rod….
Regan: “I’m proud of you kiddo. Even if you don’t catch anything else, you made me smile today.”
Jay: “Dad is worried too.”
Regan: “About me?”
Jay: “Yeah. Stay here, let’s fish every day, don’t go fight this bad lady.”
Regan: “Jay, one thing I have always taught you like your father, you take on all challenges. We don’t run away from anything even if it hurts us. If I chose not to fight this bad lady, how would that make me look? If I am protecting my family, I can’t run away, right? If I was in trouble, would you defend me?”
Jay: “Yes! Let me fight the bad lady!”
Regan: “No… no munchkin. I fight so you don’t have to. I learned a long time ago how to treat your children as parents. Not every kid has it lucky like you do. I always wanted to be a loving mother and wife to David and you, before AJ and Jennifer ever came into the picture. For years I always looked at you as David’s son, that was it. As we became closer and I started to become the mother I knew I could by not making the same mistakes I have in the past? That is when I started to see you as MY son. I’m not going to be doing this forever. I have some goals I want to accomplish before I decide that maybe I want to extend our family.”
Jay: “Like a little brother or sister?”
Smiling, I nodded yes….
Regan: “Yeah, so you won’t be the baby anymore, but you will always be my baby son. I know you’re scared and so am I. This is my chance to overcome those fears and beat the greatest challenge of my wrestling career and at the same time show my family that I can defend their honor. One day when you get older and wiser, we are going to look back at this moment and laugh.”
Jay: “Promise?”
Regan: “I promise.”
Jay: “Can I go with you?”
Regan: “You can’t go with me in the ring, no.”
Jay: “Will you let me watch?”
I didn’t even want to do that but at some point, this was going to come up. I sighed and ran my fingers through his hair, reassuring that I did trust him, I didn’t know if I trusted myself. It took a moment for me to finally come up with a decision though it was one that I would probably regret later, or it was even more incentive to win….
Regan: “Yes, you can watch.”
Jay: “Yay! Thanks mom!”
Regan: “You’re welcome. Now come on, catch some fish.”
Jay: “I am trying….. wait, I think I caught something!”
Regan: “Reel him in! You’re on a roll!”
He indeed had something on the line, another bass hopefully. Standing by the lakes edge, his excitement suddenly started to muffle some, staring in the water I was lost for a moment, thinking of everything that had been going on in the last week to lead up to where I am now. I didn’t want any more distractions; Datura was my main focus now. I could hear the fish jumping up and down out of the water, he was pulling it in….
And then it hit me….
The path I have taken…..
“Way I Wander”…
Ante Up Academy
The Day Before
After the last Breakdown I wasn’t happy. Konrad Raab was a piece of shit, so neurotic, that guy simply put was a fruitcake. Now suddenly he decides to turn on Damian Angel and whatever. That’s fine. The problem was I never was able to get my hands on him for what he did and then to follow came Datura playing her games. At this point I should be used to them, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t physically touch her, I was not going to play into it like I did the last time.
Datura was not going to get the best of me.
My daughter was still reeling from Ricky’s Funeral, I was pissed off. Why not spend a little mother/daughter time training. She had just lost the SPIRIT Championship, her good friend passed, the Beauty Factory was a mess, I wanted her out and was willing to pay for it. I didn’t want to tell her, knowing she would be totally against it. I get pride….
It’s my biggest sin.
That’s not what I wanted to teach her. Feeling like I had to be more involved with her life in general. I didn’t want her to pick up my bad habits or turn like me at times. MY daughter is my progeny and when I walk away from this sport, she is going to continue what I started but in her own name. She was the one that could help me be ready for Datura….
Not Rachel Tatum Lee, Trinity, Selena, Kennedy or anyone else…. It was her because she didn’t understand the severity of the situation and that added another wrinkle, one that was pure. She was already working me like a champ, taking me down. David watched closely from the outside.
David: “Move in from the side Jen!”
I think David wants to see her beat me, that son of a bit… ouch, she picked me up and slammed me straight down on the mats. Jennifer has the height advantage and she is starting to show exactly how to use it. I rolled over and was right back on my feet, she charged in, I caught her with a hip toss and then a ready for a Superkick but I stopped, Jennifer’s eyes widened, shit I hesitated when she rolled me over in a School Girl and pinned me. Damn it….. she was quick….
David: “Good job! Looks like you are ready.”
Jennifer: “Thanks dad, that’s only because mom hesitated.”
Regan: “If it wasn’t you, I wouldn’t have.”
Jennifer: “Are you sure because if you do that to Datura? She’s going to beat you again mom.”
Regan: “Gee, thanks for the confidence.”
Jennifer: “I am being serious. I know that you probably don’t want to hear it but it is true. We saw the aftermath, we lived with it….”
David: “Jen, ease up…”
I don’t think she realized how hard she was going at me and honestly, I deserved every bit. Sometimes I am too overprotective, finding myself butting in way too much and pissing everyone off. Jennifer especially but that is because I’m concerned after recent events. She had been acting weird toward me lately, probably time to have a talk. She grabbed her stuff and walked away, I turned to David….
Regan: “She had every right.”
David: “Why? Because you hesitated from kicking your daughter’s head off her shoulders?”
Regan: “I shouldn’t have hesitated, she was right. I don’t want to hurt her; I won’t have that issue with Datura.”
David: “About that….”
Regan: “Babe, I need encouragement, not doubt. I now there is a lot of shit going on right now, Willow ousted from the Beauty Factory now helps my cause even more, I don’t think her games can affect me now, I have the deal in place to get Jennifer out.”
David: “That’s what I am talking about, focus on Liz, not everything else. Your mind is on twenty different things right now. Selena and Deanna, Rachel and Britt, the Beauty Factory shit, the stuff with Ricky’s death, the single most important thing to you right now is defending the Adrenaline Championship at RTG XVI against her, nothing else, that is IT. I know she is coming for you; those tweets are serious.”
I leaned back on the ropes, wiping some sweat from my forehead, drenched and ready to shower, I wasn’t about to leave though, David was very serious and after the few things I kept from him recently, I wasn’t about to make him angrier. I knew what he was talking about, Datura started to show some cracks, then threatened to make pretty much a horror show out of our match to get at David… over my dead body.
Regan: “She’s going to have to kill me, David. You’re not even going to entertain that match, I’m wrestling her, so you don’t have to. I don’t care where she has been for five months, the path of enlightenment, the Queen of the Wicker People, nothing surprises me anymore because it is all part of her game. I get it now, before I thought she was just another tattooed freak that talked in haiku’s, poems and had a pocket thesaurus. I know better now, that is not a ploy, it is not to be visual appealing, that bitch lives the gimmick.”
David: “Yes, that is why she is dangerous and the last time you went unprepared.”
Regan: “I’m not this time. What happened with Willow opened my eyes, what is going on with Ricky opened my eyes, what I have suffered for seven months and the own personal hell that I have been through in the SCW because of HER has opened my eyes. I know what I am getting myself into now, I wasn’t ready, I readily admit that, being complacent and fighting the same people over and over in the SCW does that to a person. I went by her record in UWA, by what she did in Majestic, even in Chimera. I did not stop to think for one second what she was capable of doing to me. I was wrong….”
David: “Yes, you were but this time it’s different and I need you to see that it is not about the family. It is all about me.”
He was right, this whole game had nothing to do with the rest of the family, Datura had never planned on hurting any of them, it was about using me to get to David and finally have her revenge. I had to stop it dead in its track, I was not going to serve up my husband on a silver platter for this. The Adrenaline Title was on the line, she had been missing, wandering away waiting to return, all I did was refocus and she made me into a better wrestler, since Making Things Right, I haven’t lost a match and on the biggest stage of them all, I don’t plan to lose to her again. I leaned in and looked him right in the face….
Regan: “I know that now. This is a different fight. Every fire that I have burning at the moment needs to be put out until after RTG. This is it…. I’m nervous, even afraid and yet that entices me more to beat her at this game. I hate her, I hate everything about her which makes it so difficult for me because I respect Liz. She beat my ass, I can’t not respect her for that, she played me like a fucking fiddle. So now I go ibn there and do what I do best, beat her ass but I’m going to do more, I suffered for 7 fucking months, she is going to feel that suffering.”
David: “Regan, all you have to do is go to the ring and be you. She caught you early, smart and took your game plan out. This time, you do the same to her. This time you take the fight to her. Like you did on that Breakdown after Making Things Right.”
Regan: “I will.”
David: “Tomorrow, I have to be here for some media work, there is a bunch going on with the Academy. I was going to ask Kath if she could take Jay and….”
Regan: “No, I need to spend some time with him. He and I will have a day.”
David: “Are you sure?”
Regan: “I need that right now. Spend some time with my stepson. David, about what we talked about, Crane…. The Factory stuff….”
David: “Yeah?”
I had suspicions about Crane, I don’t know, he came off kinda creepy to me when I had my conversation. I don’t know if that guy is capable of hurting anyone, but he sure knew a lot more than he originally led on. The fact he thought so high of Jennifer is what worried me the most. The last thing she needed was for this weird cat to start stalking her. He was so adamant about me not taking her out of the business, maybe I am looking at this all the wrong way. David is right though, it’s about RTG…. Though my daughter is more important than all of that….
Regan: “Something about that Crane guy.”
David: “Forget about him, alright? Think about Datura. Now take off your shoes and socks, run me fifty around the gym.”
Regan: “What? Are you fucking kidding me?”
David: “Regs, you lost the match. Gym rules, you need to follow them just like everyone else.”
Regan: “That is some bullshit. Fine….”
I start untying my sneaker, pulling them off, then my socks. I go to get up and see Jennifer standing there with her arms crossed and eyes narrowed. I didn’t understand what that look was for before she stormed off. I slid under the ring as David watched me run up to her….
Regan: “What!?”
Jennifer: “You went to see Mr. Crane.”
Shit…. Why do I always put myself in these types of situations? Lowering my head I basically admitted guilt…..
Jennifer: “Why!?”
Regan: “I am trying to protect you.”
Jennifer: “Like you did against Datura!?”
David: “Hey! That was uncalled for, Jennifer!”
Regan: “No…. no, she’s right David, she’s right. I didn’t protect you or this family from Datura. I fell on my head miserably and the woman you thought invincible had become a broken and beaten shell of her former self. Go ahead, you’re angry at me, lash it out.”
Jennifer: “Why!?”
Regan: “I am worried about you and I didn’t like that guy seemingly clinging on you like a leech.”
Jennifer: “Mom, he’s a famous photographer that just so happens to like my manners and look, that is all. He has taken a liking to me because he says that I am not like most of the other models, all stuck up, conceded and clueless to the real world, he says that I have brains. Now he thinks that I’m some momma’s girl because you went to see him, what did you say!?”
Regan: “I told him…. That I don’t…..”
Jennifer: “What!?”
Regan: “I told him that I don’t want him near you.”
That was about to set her off. Maybe I overstepped my boundaries, I don’t know. I have a tendency of doing so, I go into mother mode and suddenly I find myself fighting with my kids when all I am doing is meaning well. A young man just died doing what Jennifer does, sorry of I am a little concerned….
Jennifer: “Wow… you know I’m almost nineteen now, technically you can do this anymore, I’m an adult and if I choose to work with anyone, I will.”
Regan: “Jennifer… “
Jennifer: “I don’t want to hear it…. I can’t believe you did….”
I had enough, cutting her off….
Regan: “No, you are going to hear it and after then you make your own decisions and that is final. I have a lot on my plate right now, if you want to insult or berate me because of Datura due to you being pissy with me because I am looking out for your safety, then it’s well worth it. There is nothing you can say to me that will ever compare to what I felt after I lost to that cunt, if anything you are simply adding fuel to the fire. Ricky is DEAD. Something happened to him and I guarantee you that it was close to what the Beauty Factory is working on. I’m sorry if your sister’s death and his hit close to home and look awfully related, it seems like the same person could have done it. Willow is out of the picture; she can rot in hell far as I’m concerned…. That will NOT change my stance on making sure that ALL my family is protected. Hate me all you want, lambast me until you turn blue in the face. I stand by what I did and if it leads to protecting your life from some unknown evil lurking around, then so be it.”
Jennifer: “You still had no right!”
Regan: “I had every right as a concerned parent. Jennifer, I really don’t need this right now, I don’t want to fight you. We can spar in the ring all you want but this right here, needs to stop and NOW. I can’t have this distraction Jennifer; I need to have a clear mind and that means everything is okay between us. I know that sometimes I can be overbearing, I do it because I love you and I…..”
She starts to walk away. David was about to say something, but I stopped him. Lowering my head, I tried to keep my emotions in check and yet just thinking about her lying on a cold table with a sheet over her body on a tag on her toe brought it out of me…..
Regan: “The last thing I want to do is what you and David had to on multiple occasions, identifying the body of a loved one….. I would die Jenni…..I would die if I had to walk up to a cloth and see you under it.”
She stopped, didn’t turn around but at least stopped. My eyes started to swell up a little with tears, I continued to hold David at bay as I tried to explain to her my reasons behind my aggressive approach to this photographer and the Factory as a whole….
Regan: “I know you’re angry with me and I don’t blame you one bit. If that means I prevented anything from happening to you, I will take it. Jennifer… I’m begging you….. I need you right now, I need my entire family. I can’t do this alone; I can’t beat Datura without your support….”
David: “Regan…. It’s okay.”
Regan: “No, it isn’t. I made a shit ton of mistakes, but I have tried to rectify them all. Please, don’t do this right now. Without a clear conscience, worrying about you and everyone else in the family especially when I am fighting a woman that wants destroy me and your dad….. don’t walk…. I’m pleading with you….”
I was about to even drop to my knees when she slowly turned around with tears in her eyes. I hesitated for a moment before finally coming up to her and embracing my daughter. She hugged me back and that was the only sentiment I needed in return. I felt David over us, we took a few moments before Jennifer stepped back and wiped her tears. David then whispered something in my ear…
David: “Run.”
Regan: “Are you serious? What an asshole.”
I started to sprint, that made Jennifer chuckle a little as David approached and gave her another hug. I didn’t mind running then, at least we were at an understanding and that was good enough for me. Feeling the mats under my bare feet, I continued to sprint, faster and faster, hoping the time would come soon enough so I could finish this with Datura….
And bring it all back full circle.
Laurel Canyon
This Past Week
Jay was so happy; I had a smile ear to ear. We sat down next on a log, holding the three fish he caught up, I think it was a Corvina Bass from what the pictures show. He held them up as I took out my phone camera, I had to take a picture of my little man catching his first fishes. He posed like his father and smiled; Jay was always a ham. I was sad that the day for us was almost over, it was starting to get dark and the last thing we wanted was to be caught out here in the woods. I took his hand, slipped on my sneakers and grabbed the cooler. We both started to walk up the trail back home, it was probably a good twenty minutes. The fishing pole in one hand, he looked like a true trooper…..
Regan: “Did you have fun?”
Jay: “Yeah! I did, we can do it again tomorrow!?”
Regan: “Tell you what, how about we get your dad to buy a small little boat and we can go out on the lake and catch some real big ones. Uncle Simon loves to fish, maybe we can invite him too.”
Jay: “Oh yeah, he’s like really smart at fishing!”
Regan: “He really is. I had a blast today, thank you so much for being my company today. It was nice to get away from the norm, walk the trails, come down here. I really needed this kiddo.”
Jay: “Yeah? Why exactly?”
We continued to walk, the nature was peaceful, the smell of pine was comforting, looking over and smiling at Jay with his little red hat on, I tapped the flip….
Regan: “This is why I fight. Therefore, I do the things that I have been for so long and I didn’t realize how important the little things are. It was fun, pure. There was no one around arguing or traffic, loud noises. It was your voice and mine. You caught three fish, that will be nice for your dad to grill them up.”
Jay: “Mmmm…. With lemon and butter.”
Regan: “Have you been watching the cooking channel!?”
Jay: “Maybe.”
Regan: “My son, the soon to be Chef. I love you kiddo.”
Jay: “I love you too.”
We made our way back up the canyon, I don’t know why but we both started singing Hakuna Matata, swinging our arms as we approached the house…
Regan: “Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase…”
Jay: “Hakuna Matata! Ain’t no passing craze!”
Regan: “It means no worries for the rest of your days, yeah, sing it, kid!”
Jay: “It’s our problem-free philosophy…. Hakuna Matata!”
Regan: “Hakuna Matata….”
Jay: “Hakuna Matata….”
Regan: “Hakuna Matata…”
Jay: “Hakuna Matata…”
We danced all the way to the back door and patio, God I hope no one was home. We gave each other high fives before walking in, Jay made his way to the kitchen when suddenly a bunch of people jumped out from behind the furniture and startled the fuck out of me, dropping the cooler and letting out a small yell….
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!
A surprise party? Christ my 30th Birthday was like over a month ago though I didn’t do anything, I thought people had just forgotten since it landed on Taking Hold of the Flame. Selena gave me a hug as I laughed, still shaking, Mikaela, Jennifer, AJ, Scarlet, Kennedy, Trinity, Knots, Sonia, Lucas, Angelina and Caleb, my aunt and uncle Street, my parents, Peyton, Christian, Dawn, Rachel, Brittany, Ante Up crowd. They were all here and of course my husband, David who starts to laugh and gives me a huge hug, lifting me off my feet and causing my shoes to fall off….
Regan: “I can’t believe you did this!?”
David: “You never had a proper birthday and it was the big 30 so I had to do something, figured why not now? Right before RTG and spend time with your family, friends and people who genuinely care about you.”
Regan: “You didn’t have to do this.”
David: “No, but I figured it would be a nice surprise and what the fuck is that smell?”
Regan: “Oh… yeah we went fishing and I kinda stink. I have worm goop in my nails. See… smell…”
David: “God, go freshen up, we have guests tonight!”
I laughed and waved at everyone, hugged some but had to make it to the bathroom upstairs to clean up. After a few minutes, I washed may hands, face and presented myself best I could until I took a shower later. I felt good; it was the first time in a long time where I was confident about the choices of my life. I made my way down the stairs, stopping midway and looking at the full house of my friends and family. Selena is here because of Datura; I would have never reconciled with my sister otherwise. Kennedy and Trinity are here because of Datura. Had they not fought against the same people I stood up to and reached out to me after the loss at Making Things Right, they wouldn’t be here right now…..
My attitude and the way I approach things now is because of Datura.
I don’t want to give her all the credit, yet it took me a few months to realize these teachable moments were left for me to learn and do what I can once I was in control of the situation presented in front of me. Yes, I learned Datura and she still thinks there is so much more to teach….
Is there?
From my end, yes there is.
All I must do is look out into this living room and understand better now the fight I have ahead of me. The woman that I will face and the reason behind it all. I did learn, that this was never about my family, this was always about Regan Street becoming Helms…..
And she gave the means and the strength in defeat to be able and see firsthand that all I needed was one moment of clarity, with broken fingers, a hurt ego and lost pride….
I have something you can never take away…..
My Life.
SCENE FADES
REC:
“The Way I Wander….
Blindly searching for answers to the questions I never wanted to ask. How can one person turn me into this? It was the eye-opening experience I needed, yet in all this we are still looking for “Teachable Moments”? I was never that good at school, a problem child, my heads were always in the clouds. Regan Street was a dreamer, hard to believe but true. I would do whatever I could to delay the processes, see what I wanted to accomplish, yeah, I had it all planned out….
Life doesn’t always allow you to plan it out though.
We are taught at a young age to handle adversity with strength and positivity, not all is going to work your way. Life will always throw curveballs; this was one I swung and missed. I never once thought possible that I would be dissected like she did to me, every motion, every action, every word had a purpose and I didn’t see it until it was too late….
I blew it off and pretended she was the dumbest person on the planet when in reality, she’s a genius. For seven months I have sat wondering what was next, if this would ever happen again, when would the Hellcat get one more chance at the woman who systematically tore her down to nothing more than a purring kitty? I had plans; I was ready for anything. My friends needed me, my sister in arms, those that put their faith and still see me as a woman who’s a leader of this industry and I had let them down.
My mystique as the toughest bitch in the SCW took a step back thanks to her and honestly, I’m glad it did.
The Way I Wander….
With closed eyes, feeling my way through each touch, I could sense in the dark I stood. The pain, guilt and remorse I felt for my performance, the initial stance in defending my family, trying to protect them and realizing I couldn’t, was a hard pill to swallow. I refused to gaze them in their face, come out to confess that I didn’t step up to the challenge. I was complacent, nothing could touch me, this was MY SCW and to hell with anyone that thought different. She claimed I was nothing outside this company, no one knew of The Hellcat, hers was world renowned, they knew the minute she walked in there was going to be something unique…..
Special and there was no doubt her boisterous tweets would inform you otherwise.
Now the journey takes another road, one where I finally get what I want at Rise to Greatness XVI. Is this really what I want? Or what I need?
While she traveled away from the ring for 7 months, I reinvented myself not because of her, not due to her….
Due to necessity.
And now that I come face to face with Datura one last time….
The necessity will turn to Victory.”
/REC
THE “REAL” LESSON LEARNED
The Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Garden is a 66-acre botanical garden located at 8525 Garland Road in East Dallas, Dallas, Texas, on the southeastern shore of White Rock Lake. The arboretum is a series of gardens and fountains with a view of the lake and the Downtown Dallas skyline. The majority of the grounds were once part of a 44-acre estate known as Rancho Encinal, built for Geophysics Everette Lee DeGolyer and his wife Nell. Mrs. DeGolyer’s interests included her extensive Flower Garden. The DeGolyer Home is listed on the National Register of Historical Places. Since 1976, the DeGolyer estate has formed the largest portion of the Dallas Arboretum & Botanical Gardens. The addition of the adjoining Alex and Roberta Coke Camp estate increased the size of the grounds to sixty-six acres. The 22,000-square-foot Spanish Colonial Architecture, DeGolyer Home was completed in 1940. The DeGolyer Garden Cafe/Loggia, located at the back of the DeGolyer Home, overlooks White Rock Lake and the tiered fountains and formal landscapes of A Woman’s Garden. Also located on the grounds is an outdoor concert stage, Picnic areas, and set of kid size replicas of dwellings and other structures depicting Prairie life in the “Texas Pioneer Adventure.”
In September 2002, Arboretum facilities were expanded with the opening of the new visitor’s center named for Dallas real estate developer Trammel Crowe. The center consists of a gift shop, meeting room, gazebo, and a patio area overlooking White Rock Lake. At night, one may view downtown Dallas with the Skyscraper lights reflecting upon the water. The gazebo is named for Gisela Rodriguez and was financed in part by donations from her son Marcos A. Rodriguez. Here is where we find The Hellcat of the SCW, Regan Street, the current Adrenaline Champion and a woman that has gone through some trials and tribulations the last 7 months. After Making Things right, everything changed for the Hellcat, Regan find herself in a position that she normally not accustomed too, that of defeated and when Datura left right before the Trios Tournament where she was set to face Regan’s team in the first round after the message was sent this was far from Over?
It was at least for the time being.
All she could do was wait, it stewed for all that time, making the situation that much worse for Datura in the long run. Seven months to prepare for this moment, seven months going through every obstacle put in front of you and in the process, fixing friendships. No one understands what self-inflicted torture Regan Street has put herself through. Wearing jeans, peep toe pumps, a black lose halter top with her hair hanging straight down, nails a white gloss and beautifully made up. Her sister Mikaela stands behind her also in jeans, wedge sandals and a white blouse, long blonde hair in a half ponytail. The camera starts to record….
REC:
Regan takes a second to collect her thoughts. She holds the Adrenaline Championship over her shoulder, running her left finger tips on some roses before her green eyes slowly glare up at the camera, behind dark lenses of her glasses, speaking very calm…..
“Context….
I remember the word vividly. The last time Datura and I faced at Making Things Right, she spoke about it. It was the first of many lessons I learned. The grand scheme of things wins, and losses do not matter, the meaning and purpose behind every action does. I stand here in this botanical garden to remind myself the beauty within the horror that is known as Datura. The aroma, the sense of tranquility, the calmness before the storm that is about to hit Dallas, Texas has both an eerie yet serene feel to it. I’m not going to come out here with eloquent words or phrases, I happily admit that my opponent is a genius and I am your average woman trying to live by every single day of her life. Back in January of this year I will be the first to admit I made a mistake, I was The Hellcat, bust down the fucking door, scream and yell, punch and kick, ask questions later. I saw Datura as another opponent, a woman that decided to walk into the SCW, threaten my family to get attention and press, try to make a name for herself in this company as her reputation precedes her from the other many watering holes she’s been in and figured like a locust, she’s swoop right in, feed a little and after I beat her ass, she would be gone again….
Goodbye, good riddance, do not let the door hit you on the way out.
I was wrong.
Instead for the first time in my career I faced someone that EVERYTHING she said was right or would happen and like a fool, I fell for it hook, line and sinker. Before I even talk about Rise To Greatness, I want to say that Datura is everything that she says, there is no bullshit with her, there are no smoke and mirrors when I thought for sure this was one huge gimmick to try and intimidate me and others. I saw her as a joke, a freak, an outsider that was way in over her head when she decided to step into MY company, one that I have been proud to defend for that last SEVEN years and in one night I failed to uphold it’s standards and allowed someone that has made their names in various other organizations prove to the industry that maybe SCW doesn’t have the best wrestlers in the world?
No, we have the best, I became complacent just like she predicted, and this battle was lost long before it even had a chance to begin. I stand here humbled, with no excuse, at Making Things Right, Datura tore me apart limb from limb just like she foretold and left me a mess, unconscious in the ring with broken fingers and a shattered ego.
The Hellcat was tamed.
When I started to come to and looked over at the concern on my sisters face, listening to her theme music, knowing at that very moment that I was beaten down and had absolutely no chance to ever walk out as a victor due to my own incompetence and inability to comprehend the situation I was in, grouping Datura with the mass numbers of fakes and phonies I have dropped throughout the years, I finally found the one person who never lied to me.
Context….
It has been a word that circles through my mind each and every morning when I open my eyes from a deep sleep. When I look in the mirror and question the woman I was, I am, or I will become. When I slip my feet in a pair of heels, walking out the front door after giving my kids a kiss, ready to take on the day with the thought in the back of my mind that has been lingering since January…..
When will she return?
Every action, reaction, meaning behind what I have done now revolves around the one person who I laughed at, shrugged off as nothing more than an attention grubbing whore with a pocket thesaurus throwing Haiku’s and articulating meanings behind such elaborate words that I didn’t even flinch for one second, consumed by my own hubris because I considered myself the very best in the SCW. Now, now I am looking at this Championship, the garden which surrounds me, my sister standing here, worried that the same fate to me will happen again on a bigger stage in front of thousands so they can all stand in unison and watch Datura systematically deconstruct a Helms yet again one piece at a time.
Yes, every bell that rung from start to finish, I thought of her.
Every time the card was announced, I waited to see her name.
Sitting in the locker room alone, with my head down, grasping this championship, I looked at my hand and thought of her.
When I look at my ring finger now healed yet broken once, I think of her.
When David tells me it’s alright…. I hear her voice.
All I could think about was you, Datura and that is what scared the hell out of me the most for all of it came true like you said it would and I had to live that nightmare for SEVEN LONG MONTHS. The day you came back after Taking Hold of the Flame?
I slept like a baby.”
Her eyes narrow some, lips pursed for a second, Mikaela has never seen her sister like this before, usually very confident and powerful. Always taking charge and never once taking a backseat to anyone. Regan has made a career in being direct, saying what she feels, doing it and moving on but on this day, we are seeing a different Regan, one that maybe, just maybe Datura predicted back in January would come forward. It is no secret what she had become after Making Things Right and these feelings have been boiling over for quite some time. Her eyes glare back at the camera, running her hands through the flowers as she slowly walks….
“The Breakdown after Making Things Right, I came in with my hand bandaged, I listened to Datura brag about her victory and rightfully so, she earned it. As I walked out, I had one goal in mind and it was to make it clear this was not over, it was only just beginning. I took advantage and choked her out, I wanted to make it loud and clear this was far from over. The Trios Tournament was then announced, my team would face hers, everything was ready to play itself out again, a contest where for five years I have made the finals and never taken home the contract….
The following week when I arrived at the arena, I was told Datura was gone.
Gone?
Where?
She disappeared and I had to stand there with a broken hand and no means of a rematch, no chance whatsoever to show that what happened in January was not the end of this story. No, Datura was gone. You did that on purpose, leaving me so that watching my torture would bring a smile to your face. For a time, I sat on my couch, stayed in my bed, couldn’t even look at my kids or my husband in the face. In my hometown I was decimated and had nothing to show for it. I was a broken woman; you tore me down like no one has done before and I had no idea how to pick myself back up. There was still hope, or so I thought and then realizing there was no trace of you, Datura, I was forced to live in this personal hell that you created for me, becoming my devil. I had to refocus, shake off everything. My mentor Trinity opened up to me, it was the first dialogue we had in a long time and see, Datura, those same family members at Bound By Blood who were quick to ex-communicate me started to bring me back in the fold, all thanks to you. Here I was standing alone, so I went out there and I led my team to a Trios Contract. I didn’t stop though; the Adrenaline Championship was next, and I want you to understand what this title means to not only me but us as a whole. I wanted this belt from Ravyn Taylor. I walked into an empty arena match and fought one of the hardest battles in my life against a Hall of Famer who was inducted last night. I bled like a stuck pig, I was hurt and could barely stand yet I pulled through and defeated Ravyn….
Because of you.
This Adrenaline title was my carrot stick, it was my chance to offer you something in return if you decided to end this hiatus, journey to the wilderness or wherever you may wander. I made a promise to myself that I would defeat every single contender that faced me for the title, and I did as this was reserved only for you. You were gone, I had to move on whether I wanted to or not. Begrudgingly I begged the SCW to find you, force you to come back, you became my obsession, all I thought about was you Liz, is that what you had hoped for? Forget about the lessons for a second, I want you this time to think about the long term affects here.
Did you want to ruin my life?
Or did you want me to understand that without you, my life was worthless?
It was.
I had no choice, I started to look at life without Datura. Xander Valentine kept rearing his ugly ass head, he continued attacks over and over become a nuisance, a problem that I had to deal with and occupied my time. Retribution was a war, teaming with Selena Frost, Kennedy Street and Owen Cruze to get Sasha in office became a goal. Giovanni Aries running his mouth was a good distraction, the constant attacks by Konrad Raab, Damian Angel and Artemis simply fueled my anger, passion and desire to keep wrestling at the highest form waiting….
Hoping….
Praying…..
That you would return.
Then came Taking Hold of the Flame and once again I finished in the top five so I had my plans all mapped out, Main Event RTG XVI, take the World Title back and knock that off my bucket list while defeating one of my biggest rivals in Syren, finishing the show on the grandest stage of them all….
And then you finally showed back up.
The World Championship, the Main Event at RTG XVI, the Trios Contract meant nothing to me when I saw you return. This is the impact you have had in my career, when the one spot I have waited to take for SEVEN YEARS I gave up for another chance at you but this time putting the one belt that I busted every bone in my body to keep just so I could dangle it in front of your face….
Not because you need Championship Gold, Oh no, I get it now Datura, it is the symbolism behind it, take away some that I put so much pride and effort in to defend and honor just so you can own it and add it to other pieces you’ve collected from my soul.
I knew that was too good to pass up.”
Regan takes a second to glance over the Adrenaline Championship. She fully understands that this has nothing to do with Datura being a Champion, it has everything to do with Datura taking something away from Regan yet again. The Hellcat understands that now, it is why she fought tooth and nail with so many competitors to hold on to the belt heading into RTG XVI where she could have Main Evented, this is how important Datura has become to Regan Street. She turns back and speaks….
“These past six weeks were not like the last time. You came out to protect me from assaults, all so there would be no excuses when you faced me in Dallas. The games, they continue to be played and honestly Datura, I have already conceded they worked. You are in my head, every corner I look, you are there, every turn, you are there, every sound and light, every motion and YOU ARE THERE. I close my eyes and I see your face. I turn off the lights and I smell your hair. I listen closely and I can hear you breathe.
This is what you wanted, this is what your ultimate goal was that every time I hold my child, I look and wonder if you are outside, behind the glass watching me with a smile on your face. You single-handedly changed me Datura, in one night, I came in the braggadocios and confident Hellcat ready to fight and I left purring, licking my words and wanting to crawl in a corner and not face reality. For six weeks I couldn’t wear my wedding ring, the symbol of my eternal love to David, you knew that would hurt me more than anything, smart play. For SEVEN MONTHS I walked into every arena that I was booked and did my job. I fought…. I scratched…. I clawed and most of all I survived this entire time rebuilding myself for this very moment while you…..
Wandered.
I didn’t get it at first Liz, I didn’t want to know, I rather just go to what I was most comfortable with, going to the well one too many times and it wasn’t. I had to look at my fellow wrestlers in the face knowing an outsider came in and beat me down like I was their toy. For SEVEN MONTHS I was ashamed of my performance and then Datura, this is the part where you played the biggest role. In that loss, I found myself. I found Regan Monica Street. The girl who survived child abuse, running away and living out in the back of some alleyway ready to be raped until I was saved. The woman who had these huge dreams to come to this company and make a legacy, build a brand and one day be immortalized for doing what she does best…..
Wrestle.
The woman that had no clue what love was, who met this wonderful man she married and adopted some of the best kids she could ever hope for and in all of this, I was blind to it all. I pissed off my family, I made enemies out of friends, I turned my back on my supporters, my boss, my fans, I became everything that I swore I would never be and it was YOU that showed me the true face of Regan Street. And so, I picked myself up, I looked at those at hurt, shaking their hands like Selena Frost. Like Kennedy Street, like Owen and Shaun Cruze. People who I despised all because I never understood the consequences to my actions until I fell in battle to you And they were there to extend their hands and lift me back up so I could have the chance to RISE to GREATNESS.
And now, lets talk about tomorrow night.
I have walked into this battlefield since 2012, I don’t lose at this PPV, but you see, that is NOT the mentality I am walking in with now. Records do not matter, what we have done leading up to this match only tells the tale of two women who will clash one more time with so much on the line. The difference between then and now is this is not about my family. This is not about David either. This is about you and me, it is about a platform bigger than any you have ever stepped in before dwarfing anything else you have been a part of in your illustrious career. I know you need audience Datura; I see what makes you tick….
This has nothing to do with anymore lessons learned, this has everything to do with my decimation so that you can look at David in the face and smile knowing that he would be the first to jump back in the ring. I can’t let that happen. I was a little disappointed at your reaction to a stupid poll on Twitter where most of the votes went in my favor, it really bent you out of shape. That told me a lot about you, Datura and your reasoning now….
You want that praise; you yearn that spotlight most of the time talking down. When an idiot loser who doesn’t know her head from her ass, like Cassidy Carter demonstrate their support, it shows me how little you know about the SCW. I don’t worry about popularity contests, I could careless who votes who to win. They have seen my path to Texas, it wasn’t in some forest or a retreat, I didn’t walk away or stay off camera, instead with humility as my baggage I pressed on and fought every single week until the day you returned.
It was all based on fear and I can’t do that anymore, i had to face them or I would drown in my own pool of catharsis.
Whatever teachable moments you have left for me?
I’ll pass…..
I think I learned enough but in return it’s time I teach you a few things.”
Biting down on her jaw, Mikaela sees her sister starting to clench her fists, the intensity of the Hellcat is now starting to show through the cracks. Her eyes narrow, staring intently into the camera, tilting her head and proudly showing the Adrenaline Championship over her shoulder. She starts to speak with more intensity….
“Tomorrow night, YOU are going to learn about consequence. What happens when you tear a woman’s life apart like me in one night and watch her pick up the pieces and become even stronger than she was before. You will learn about SCW. The last time you were really quick to put this company down and its wrestlers as many of us haven’t traveled to the outer reaches of this business making it seem the grass is greener on the other side. See, Datura after tomorrow night, EVERYONE in this business from Underground to EAW to ACW to 4CW to GCW to another other promotion out there that has a working Social Media will KNOW who the fuck Regan Street is when the news of the massacre gets out after what I do to you in front of over one hundred thousand screaming fans! They will talk about this war, just like you wanted, they will remember our names and they will see firsthand the monster YOU CREATED. Every day that I felt pain, every moment that I cried in shame, every time I couldn’t pick up something or wear my ring and every single minute that passed where all I thought about was you in excruciating agony?
I will release in that ring.
When you came back, I didn’t touch you for ONE reason, I was not going to cheapen the rage and penned up anger that I will unleash upon you, Datura. You took away my pride, my sense of protection, my honor as a mother and wife and finally my stance int his company that I had earn back…..
Liz, you took my life….
And in doing so you breathed life into a new one.
You did everything promised and now, you get to see the fruits of your labor when I walk down that aisle and rip you apart with no mercy, no regret and no remorse. When this is over? One will Rise, one will fall. I guarantee you one thing, looking at my family, friends and fellow wrestlers that I have now back in the fold?
I want to THANK YOU, Datura.
For opening my eyes and being true to your word.”
Regan brushes her hair back and takes a deep breath before speaking, Mikaela looks on…..
“Whether this ends in a CATastrophe or not…..
It WILL End.
I’m going to teach you humility like you taught me. I will break your fingers, your kneecaps, your neck if I must and leave you unconscious, broken like a piece pulsating flesh in her own piss and bile as the last freeze frame of the woman that kept her word and was destroyed by it so they can remember that Making Things Right was the anthesis of Datura….
Rise to Greatness was her nyctinasty.”
The Hellcat stares intensely before finally muttering the words….
“Roar, Bitch Roar.”
Mikaela nods as Regan starts to back up a little, holding up the Adrenaline Championship and closing her eyes, leaning her head back ready for war…..
FADE TO BLACK
/REC
Regan Street 